Dimentio's Interwebs
by AXB
Summary: The final part to the Mimi/Nastasia's Diary series, which I have decided to make into a trilogy. Dimentio still hasn't learned not to screw with the diaries of violent women.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: Since my Diary series was so popular, I decided to add a final installment. This one, however, unlike the first two, will have more than one chapter. Two or three at most.**

Lightning flashed across the jet black sky as the jester, recovering from the injuries he received from being thrown out of the window earlier, peeled himself off the ground, which glowed with negative energy. His twisted smile flipped upside-down, forming a surreal, ghostly scowl on his masked face.

"You fools, this is the last time you shall mess with _me _and get away with it! You shall rue the day you crossed me… _rue it_!" he shouted up to the sky, his gloved fists clenched in fury.

The shadowy shape of the jester's master stood over him as an entertained expression spread across its jagged features. The creature sighed, shrugged its shoulders and shook its head.

"Dimentio, you brought this punishment upon yourself, mused Count Bleck. You should not have looked at either Mimi's or Nastasia's diaries," the creature said.

"You suck the fun out of everything, Count Bleck! What other entertainment lies in this accursed castle?!"

"Bleh heh heh heh… very well then. But Count Bleck warns you, the Underwhere hath no fury like a woman scorned," the count said.

"Right, yes. I'll be sure to take your advice, my esteemed count," Dimentio said, turning his head to the side and muttering under his breath "especially considering I'll miss said advice once I've ended your game."

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" Dimentio quickly responded.

"Hmm… fine then, said Count Bleck. I grow tired. I shall retire to the castle's keep," the count said, vanishing in a dimensional box with a wave of his scepter.

Dimentio dusted off his poncho and reformed his sinister smile. He had been stricken with an idea. A grand idea which would allow him to strike Mimi and Nastasia with sweetest, purest revenge, and make O'Chunks look like even more of an idiot than he already was at the same time.

"Ah, dearest Mimi… sweetest Nastasia… you'll both be sorry. For robbing me of the joy of reading your diaries, I shall rob you of your right to privacy, like a controlling parent on a popular reality television series! And I will do so… without magic," the jester hissed, surrounding himself in a magical transparent box and disappearing with a snap of his fingers.

Inside the castle, Mimi and O'Chunks each prodded at their bowls which were each filled with the burnt, ashy slop Nastasia referred to as "Castle Bleck Surprise". Neither of them were brave enough to take a taste. They both just stared nervously at the smoking, oozing monstrosities which were sitting before them, poking them with their spoons to see if the overcooked piles of what appeared to be charcoal and tar were perhaps alive, ready to jump up from the bowls and devour both their faces. As they each contemplated running away rather than trying the "food" which was given to them, Nastasia strode up behind them and shot them a stern look.

"Eat every drop or else you're both on punishment."

"Ugh! But Nassy! This stuff is… are you trying to poison us?"

"No, but I can never improve my cooking unless I get some honest feedback, 'K?" Nastasia answered, smiling in a mocking way.

"Ew… a smelly wad of death and destruction. That's my honest opinion, Nassy… why would you cook something so… icky?"

"You haven't even tasted it yet, Mimi. Come on, is it any worse than something that O'Chunks would make? You've eaten his cooking before, so I'm sure you can stomach this."

"Yeah, I ate his cooking, and I had to be rushed to the hospital. They said I was in critical condition!"

"Just eat it, Mimi. I got it straight out of a recipe book. I'm sure it's simply _supposed _to look like a smoldering blob of nightmares and mayhe—I mean a big bowl of blackberry pie. Hey! I bet that's what it tastes like too!" Nastasia lied.

"Ooh, really?" Mimi asked, taking another look at the bowl, wondering if it really did taste like blackberry pie.

The shapeshifting girl stabbed the substance with her spoon, causing it to chip, and pried a chunk out of it. She pulled the spoon toward her square mouth and tossed the piece of… stuff inside. She studied the taste for a few seconds.

"Hmm… Nassy, this isn't so bad. It's sort of li—ah! Ugh! It burns!" Mimi shrieked, falling to the floor and clutching her throat.

"Yep, that's the Podoboo sauce," Nastasia giggled.

Suddenly, the room was filled with a blinding flash of light, accompanied by a chiming melody. Dimentio appeared in the room, floating above their heads. Nastasia smirked at the clown.

"Feeling a little better now, are we?" she said.

"Silence yourself, nasty little Nassy. For now, I, Dimentio, the master of dimensions and pleaser of crowds, shall exact revenge on you," the clown said, snapping his fingers, causing Mimi's and Nastasia's diaries to appear in the air beside him.

Nastasia's smirk changed to a scowl as she saw the diaries, which were drawn magically into Dimentio's cold hands. She adjusted her glasses and snarled under her breath.

"Dimentio, do you feel the need to relive history? Wanna get chucked out of a window again?"

"Sweet, sweet Nastasia… you only caught me before because I wasn't being as stealthy as I could. I now realize you three are a force to be reckoned with. So now, in order to assure that I obtain purest revenge, you all can go ahead and stay imprisoned here while I work my… non-magic."

The jester raised his hands into the air and glittered with magical energy, and each Mimi, Nastasia and O'Chunks were trapped in magical boxes. They pounded on the glass-like walls in frustration as Dimentio giggled insanely.

"The count has his Dark Prognosticus, but I have something better: the diaries of two emotionally unstable vixens. Now I will spread humiliation and confusion not by magic, but by technology, just like an obnoxious hacker."

"_What_?! You mean you're going to put our diaries on the Internet?" Nastasia shrieked.

"But of course, my sweet-and-sour little princess. And then people in all worlds will see just how idiotic you both are. Oh, and there's one more thing. I almost forgot to show this to you…" he said, snapping his fingers and revealing a video cassette, saying "… and… voila… this tape is a little 'documentary' I took on you while you three suspected nothing, and it contains various embarrassing situations involving you three. In addition to the embarrassing secrets your diaries hold, this tape will turn you all into laughingstocks. Really, going from the apprentices of a feared count to figures of shame and foolishness in only a day. It appears I've won…"

"You sick freak, Dimentio… let us out of here right now, 'K?! You're really in for it when the count finds out!"

"What's the count going to do about it? He seems to prefer that you take care of this yourself, defend your own privacy… too bad, you're all trapped like damsels in distress. Well, I must be going… to the Interwebs! I'll leave you to your fate of humiliation. Ciao!" Dimentio announced, snapping his fingers and filling the room with a magnificent explosion.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ah ha ha ha ha. Now all that is needed is a computer."

Nastasia glared at Dimentio through her glassy, magical prison. She knew he knew what was going to happen to him should the three manage to escape, but he didn't seem to care. _Psycho_, she thought. She scanned around the area. There was nothing but eerie negative space, penetrated by a few black pillars, glowing kaleidoscope patterns on the walls and torches burning with black fire. Dimentio had transported them to the threshold of the castle, as far away from Count Bleck as possible, so he wouldn't be able to hear their screams.

Dimentio snapped his fingers, and a large, clunky desktop computer appeared out of thin air, plopping down onto the cold floor. With that same freakish smile on his face, he fluttered down to it and turned the power on.

"I want you all to have front-row seats to the moment of your humiliation, like a married couple seeing their favorite homemade films being shown to an entertained audience."

"Only you would know what that's like, Dimentio," Nastasia grumbled.

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. I laugh at your witty remarks. For you see, Nastasia, this video contains oodles of… fun footage of you. The very footage that made my nights alone so interesting. Ah ha ha."

"You are a sick little man, Dimentio! 'K?!"

"Perhaps, but I don't care. It's not like I'm getting any anyway. Videos of you in that little schoolgirl outfit during your roleplaying with Count Bleck are the most satisfying things I have, really."

"Um… what did he say, Nassy?" Mimi asked, shooting Nastasia a disgusted look, at which the secretary blushed.

"Oh… uh… It—it's nothing, Mimi, 'K? It was… it was Halloween! Yeah, 'K, that's right."

"_Right_. Say, little Mi, did Nastasia ever tell you about hers and the count's assortment of toys? Or the little dirty words she says to him while she's sleeping? Or that time he turned her over his knee and then he—"

"_Enough_, Dimentio!" Nastasia shrieked. "You _will _pay for what you're doing, 'K?!"

"Perhaps, in time, but as long as I get to have this hoorah right now. Oh, and another thing, nasty Nassy, if I so chose I could… enjoy you right now in front of these two, but we'll save that for another time."

"In your twisted little dreams, pervert!"

"Whatever. But there is nothing you can do at this moment, Nastasia. You, Mimi and O'Chunks will watch as I spread your secrets all over the Interwebs!"

"Stop saying 'Interwebs', fool! It's called the 'Internet'!" Nastasia retorted.

"But that doesn't sound nearly as… magical. But! You've distracted me long enough with your useless chitchat. Now watch in horror as I ruin your reputations, just like insane transsexuals whining about the torment of their favorite bald female celebrities!" Dimentio announced, turning back to the screen and flipping his smile into a frown upon seeing that it was still loading. "Oh… oh, come _on_! What's the meaning of this?!"

"Your computer is running on Windows, Dimmie," Mimi giggled.

"Hush, you little tramp. Windows is the greatest software ever. It's much better than that horrible Macintosh trash."

"Wha' did yeh say?!" O'Chunks shouted.

"Tramp?! You big stupid-head!"

"Macintosh is absolute garbage. I don't care what you ingrates say."

Nastasia went back to searching the area, and saw several Mages floating around. The shadowy, ink-like beings had powers similar to those of Dimentio, and upon seeing them she was stricken with a plan.

"Hey, Dimentio… I've never noticed how absolutely hot that girly cape made you look."

"Oh? If it's taken you this long to see that, then you have terrible taste, jezebel."

"I'll be more than willing to run my fingers beneath that fabric and caress your supple skin if you let me out of here."

"Nice try, but the master of dimensions is much more intelligent than that," Dimentio sneered, turning around to hide the obvious tent he was pitching after hearing Nastasia say that.

"Fine. But if you really want to make us suffer humiliation, why not bring those Mages over here so they can help you fix the computer and watch as you post all our embarrassing secrets on the Interne—Interwebs," she purred, rubbing the walls of her prison in a suggestive manner."

"Hmm… good idea! Yo, Mages! Get your fannies over here _now_!" he called, snapping his fingers and magically dragging the floating beings toward him. "I want you all to help me run this old computer. With our combined magic, we can easily make it run faster!"

Smirking, Nastasia adjusted her glasses, and, with a flash of red light, hypnotized one of the Mages. Controlling its mind, she compelled it to undo the barriers that encased herself, Mimi and O'Chunks. Dimentio's smile turned to a frown as he prepared to fire an energy blast, but was stricken in the face by Nastasia's glasses, which she had thrown like a boomerang with deadly accuracy. He fell to the floor with a thud.

"That's what you get, freak."

Standing up and dusting his poncho off, Dimentio seethed in anger. Then, his scowl changed back into a smile as he snapped his fingers and caused all of the Mages to disappear. Then, snapping his fingers again, he bound the hands of the three in magical handcuffs.

"I wanted you to see my moment of vengeance firsthand, but you've left me no choice," he hissed, raising his hands into the air as magical energy swirled around him. "Besides, revenge is a dish best served cold, so you can see the aftermath of what I've done later. Ah ha ha ha. Now then… ciao!"

In a flash of light, the three of them disappeared. Dimentio stood there, smiling and giggling. He turned back to his computer and was frustrated to see that it was still loading. He put his hand to his forehead and groaned in anger.

"Ugh… fine, whatever. It's not like there's a time limit now, right? With the rabble out of the way, I can have time to work in peace, like a prostitute who has only one customer for the day. So, Mimi, Nastasia and Chunkhead… enjoy Dimension D, my world of wonders. Ah ha ha ha ha."


End file.
